Dead Man’s Spirit Helps Friend Win $7.2 Million

Who said ghosts were unreal? This guy, Tyler Morris of Montague, Michigan visited a friend’s funeral one Friday morning and heard a buzzing in his ear. At first he thought it was a bee but then he realized it was his dead friend’s spirit up from the grave! The spirit told him he should start gambling and so Mr. Morris complied because he was scared shitless from the naked apparition that was his friend. Somehow, he felt this would bring him luck… and it did netting him 7.2 million dollars.

Morris went to the Palace Casino where he won exactly $7,217,175.15 in a progressive jackpot win playing The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship, which basically pointed out that his friend was a Nazgul and Mr. Morris would soon become one of the Ring Wraiths, seeing as this money could only corrupt him. His good friend, the unnamed man whom the funeral was for, was a champion slot machine player and felt his friend was “watching over him and had blessed him with the big win.” Of course, we all know this is the dark lord Sauron’s plan to take over middle-Earth, or middle-America it would seem. One slot machine to rule them all!

Of course this is all great news and we’re all smiles for Mr. Morris, but can’t help but feel the evil of dark cloud atop Sauron’s Eye of Mordor keeping watch over these events. Ad considering that Mr. Morris is in the age where all his friends are dying, we suppose he hasn’t much longer to enjoy that 7.2 million green backs. Hey Mr. Morris, share some of the love, will you?! We don’t mind becoming twisted Uruk Hai slaving away at the request of the dark lord!