1 Million Reasons Why Baccarat is Awesome

What do you mean you hate baccarat? You mean you never heard of it or don’t understand it and that’s why you’re avoiding it like it’s some sort of plague? You’re missing out then because baccarat is the shit. It’s the game that is pretty much reserved primarily for high rollers. Maybe that’s why you’ve never heard of it. You’re not that hipster enough. Maybe you need to take a trip out to Williamsburg and get some culture. Or maybe you could just read this article that has a million reasons why you should play baccarat. Yes, a million! Start reading now! Not asking, we’re telling! Do it, slave!

1. Baccarat has an awesome name. Awesome name equals awesome game.
2. Why anyone would not play baccarat is beyond us.
3. It’s awesome because it just is, okay.
4. Baccarat was created in the 5th century when old Italian monks used to put the heads of heretics on the backs of rats and taking bets on which head will be eaten by the rats first.
5. Baccarat is mostly played by high rollers, hence it is elitist and therefore better than you. Making it awesome.
6. Baccarat is played on a pretty table.
7. Baccarat backwards is Taraccab, which sounds a lot like tobacco.
8. It’s awesome because it just is, okay.
9. Baccarat is the sound made by semi-automatic guns. Baccarat! Baccarat!
10. Baccarat is Latin for “Back that ass up.”
11. “Carat” is part of the name. And karat is a rating for gold. This game is all about gold.
12. The Baccarat-Street Boys were a popular boy band in the 90s.
13. Baccarat is delicious with some cheese.
14. It’s awesome because it just is, okay.
15. What kakarot? It’s… It’s over 9000!
16. No one really knows how to play this game which makes it super hipster.
17. The game may or may not involve cards.
18. Playing baccarat requires $50,000 buy ins… and a direct deposit to our bank account! Thanks!
19. Baccarat which originated in Italy is also played strictly in the Italian language only. Please see Family Guy on how to quickly become fluent in Italian.
20. Jedi mind tricks do work in this game. Unless you are playing against another Jedi… then you’re screwed.
21. If you don’t like baccarat, you’re gay.
22. It’s awesome because it just is, okay.
23. Jabba the Hutt loves playing baccarat.
24. Deshi Deshi! Baccarat Baccarat! Make the climb!
25. Ogenki desu ka? Muy bien, gracias!
26. If you name your child Baccarat, you should be shot.

And 24 to 1 Million. BACCARAT. Enough said. Really, that should be enough. Just saying the name loudly and aggressively enough suffices for every possible reason why you should be playing this game. It’s not enough that it’s just awesome because it is? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you stupid or something? Can you not see something that is awesome right in front of? BAAAAAAACCCCCCCCAAAAARRAT!